Accomplishments so far this week:

  • Correct conversational use of the word borborygm – the grumbling of the bowels
  • Ability to find a stranger’s aorta without cutting them open (note: it does help to introduce yourself first)
  • Identification of the tenderloin, which looks suspiciously like what you find in the grocery store.
  • Ability to make jokes about nitrous oxide and the SodaStream, thanks to a strange confluence of muscular physiology and Bed Bath & Beyond catalogs
  • Snickerdoodles

Also, good luck to my little buddies-by-association, Nate & Theo. Within a week of life, you have achieved the dream of my wannabe-cyborg generation. However, we would like you back. Don’t get too ahead of yourselves, there.