Oh, lords of all writer’s block, what have I done
that my paper lies blank and your ire is won?
This should be complete, or at least halfway through.
Not an outline at midnight – make this untrue!
The deadline approaches, so where is my muse?
Well, drat. This note here says she’s off on some cruise.
You wanna play dirty? Alright, chew on this:
I’ll set this damn paper alight, blow a kiss
farewell to literature, there’s always mime!
Guaranteed: in a week you’ll all be in line
to beg for my mercy, a halt, will I cease?
NO! Not till you bring me five muses apiece.
That’s the deal, place your bid, so what’ll it be?
Hell for you, or one measly essay for me?

I think we all know the answer to that question. One of those offers you can’t refuse, style of thing. Anyway, I wrote it after actually finishing a personal statement for med school applications. I must say, only AMCAS would give you not a page limit or a word limit, but a character limit. And of course they count spaces.

Oh, and this is not intended to make any mimes feel bad. The skilled mime is a wonderful sight. The unskilled, however…